Literally and Figuratively

Remember those Grammar assignments where you had to determine if a sentence was literal or figurative? Thanks to Miss Adelene, my Grammar teacher, I do. I gave those assignments too, when I taught junior high Grammar. Yes, I taught Grammar and this is how I write... Whatever.

Last night I cut up what Safeway calls its "personal watermelon", they mean that figuratively, Max takes it as literally. Note the plastic lids next to the watermelon. We made loads of applesauce after work yesterday. Figuatively. Literally we made 13+ pints. The taste testers liked it so much I sent their Mom, Amie home with apples to make sauce.
Emilyn came over last night and we went hot tubbing with Caleb and Max. When Max and I are in the hot tub he talks to me nonstop. Anything making him nervous in life comes right out. Max had to share me with Emilyn who also talks to me nonstop, figuratively. Last night she is talking and suddenly says, "I would like to live here." I think she means that figuratively, hope so anyway. She would be a tad exhausting on a permanent basis. Literally, I think she meant, I love you, Tami.
Caleb is a good listener. I love that about him and I mean that literally.

And tonight...I would like to welcome home my hubby! He has worked 45 out of the last 48 days. Sometimes double shifts. He will be spending the next four days with his family. Figuratively. And figuratively, I have killed the fatted calf to welcome him home. Literally, I put a roast beef in the crock pot with Lipton onion soup mix this morning for our dinner tonight.

I called my boss, Troy, this morning and told him, "I don't want to work today." He knows I mean that figuratively. I literally love my job, I just don't have time to go to work today. Thanks Troy (I meant no disrespect in the previous post).
Today I am gearing up for the big party on Saturday evening. Where CUTE will reign and the food will be delicious.