Reflecting

When our youngest son, Max graduated last June he promptly left for his summer job and then on to college in September.  Hubby and I looked at each other and realized that things would never be the same for us.  Our nest was empty and because of where our guys were in their lives we probably wouldn't have a revolving door.  Not only had they left the nest they left the county, some left our state and sometimes they left the country.

It seemed so final.

I hadn't really thought much past the next ball game, load of laundry, or casserole.  I had thought about when the guys had grown up and left home in a vague  kind of way but not in a now  kind of way.  Or how it would really be  kind of way.  It's safe to say Hubby and I have had some melancholy moments.  I have told my guys some of my regrets.  Things I did wrong as a parent.  I have a low tolerance for stupidity.   I should have taught them to be more tolerant, more patient with others. But my time for parenting children is finished.  I have adult children.  

And of course, we miss our guys.  We loved having a family!  The fun, the time spent at the dinner table, the vacations, the ball games, the noise and the dirt, the laughing, homework(NEVER), the daily life with three boys.

Even though I try to practice conscious living, sometimes I am just going through life.  You know, without really thinking about the how and why of my life or the decisions I make.  Where does God want me next?  Am I asking Him?  Am I listening to Him?   Am I thinking enough about what Hubby has in mind?  Can I embrace this change?  Many questions and changes.  It's a process.

So, where are we now?   Hubby and I have made some changes.   In our diet, in our routines and our free time I see change.  Rest assured, we are doing just fine.  We are having a lot of fun!  We have time for each other and more time for our friends.  We are getting some projects finished.  It's easier to have an ongoing project left out when only two people live in the house.  It's easier to resist a cookie or three when there are no cookies in the house.  The laundry is no longer a full time job.  I clean upstairs and nothing gets messy until the next time the guys visit.  That is probably my favorite aspect of the empty nest, no more nagging guys to clean their rooms!

Telephone conversations, texting and visits from the guys are our connection to them.  Danny, Sam and Max have made the transition easier for us because they are all doing well.  It's exciting to see them go.  By that I do mean GO, to get out there and shake the world.

We've planned a vacation with our Hawaii friends for 2014. We are going to a different island because we know it will be different without guys.  We made a conscience decision to change it up.

By the way, it's no surprise to the guys that they aren't going with us.  Last trip, Karen mentioned that they wouldn't be coming with us, a time or two.   Or maybe a dozen times.  Makes me laugh every time I think about her reminding them.

When you're in the  car pool fast lane of parenting it's hard to imagine that it's going to end, however; it does end.

And it's okay.