My Mom

Today I wanted to share that my Mom passed away on June 8.  I've been away from the blog. I wrote her obituary and her eulogy.  I wanted them on my blog so that they could be a part of my story.  My Mom was a large part of my story and I like to think that she will continue to be a part of my life as I enjoy memories, hear her voice in my mind,  remember what she taught me and grieve my loss.

Obituary

Doris Jean Dykstra Vander Haak was born to Henry and Clara (Duim)
Dykstra on January 11, 1937 in Lynden, Washington. She grew
up on the Wiser Lake Road family farm with her sisters Shirley
and Clarice and her brother Dale. It was a dairy farm with Jersey cows,
Belgian draft horses, chickens and a large garden. Her aunt lived up the
hill and another uncle lived across the road, as a child she was surrounded
by family. Doris and her cousin Janet were the best of friends
and had many adventures.

Doris graduated from Lynden Christian High School. She worked at
McLain Drug Store, first in the soda fountain mixing up green rivers
and chocolate malts, later she clerked, and then was their
bookkeeper for many years.

Doris married her high school sweetheart, Richard Vander Haak in
February 1958. Rich and Doris were blessed with a wonderful marriage
and had four children. They bought a big, old house on the
Hannegan Road and for 50 yearsmade many memories there.  

Doris loved her family and friends and she blessed them by being a
wonderful homemaker and hostess. Her Sunday dinners for her family
were her gift. She was happiest when her entire
family was together. There was always enough food, it was always
delicious and there was always room for the grand kids to bring their
friends. Her friends were dear to her and she loved meeting
them for a walk or coffee.

Doris was a member at Bethel Christian Reformed Church,
where she blessed many with her prayers, cards and notes, meals
for the families with new babies, and with visits and
cookies for the widows. She enjoyed making quilts at Bethel
one afternoon a week and working at the LCS thrift store one morning
a week for years.  She was always looking for ways to help
others in her quiet and consistent manner.

Doris loved to go to Hawaii, cruise to Alaska, take road trips and
to go camping. She enjoyed going to her grandkids’ games and
concerts. She enjoyed LCHS basketball games and
tournaments and Mariner baseball.  
Most of all, Doris loved doing these things with her husband, Rich.

Doris is survived by her children, Tami (Fred) Rylaarsdam,
Kathi (Jeff) Jansen,Ken Vander Haak and
Jodi (Bill) Van Straalen and her grandchildren Danny (Jessica),
Sam, Max (Kassie) Rylaarsdam, Derek (fiancee Tia)
and Wyatt Jansen, Zach, Katelyn, and Jenna Vander Haak, Alex (Serena) and
great granddaughter Aurora, Levi (fiancee Katelynne)
and Hana Van Straalen. She is survived by her brother,
brothers and sisters-in-law and
nieces and nephews.

Doris died on June 8, 2018.  She was ready to see Jesus
and to be welcomed at thegates of heaven. Burial will be Wednesday
at 1:15 p.m. on June 13, Wednesday at
Greenwood Cemetery, where sheplayed as a child.
The  funeral service is following at
Bethel Christian Reformed in Lynden at 2:00 p.m. where
her life as a quiet, Godly woman
will be celebrated with thankfulness by her family and friends.

Memorials may be given to Lynden Christian School,
417 Lyncs Dr. Lynden, Wa 98264

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean
not on your own understanding. In all your
ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.  
Proverbs 3:5-6

Eulogy:

As I shared at her memorial-

Our Mom was a loving daughter, sister, wife, mother, aunt, grandma,
recently a great gramma and friend.  She loved on her family and her friends.
It wasn’t just the visits, the meals or the coffee
times, my Mom prayedfor us, by name.  
And by us, I mean probably everyone here.

Last week when we took turns staying with Mom,
I started to read her journals. She wrote briefly most days.
She didn’t include details and sometimes it was more phrases
than full sentences. The weather, if it was clear enough to see
Mt. Baker, what she had done that day, what she made for Sunday

dinner that week, and who and what her prayers were for
and always a reminder to trust God.  Our Mom lost
her sister Clarice and later her sister, Shirley, her cousin Janet,
her friend Marge, her sister-in-law Nelda and
finally our Dad, she wrote,
I lost the love of my life, the day after Thanksgiving.

Our Mom loved our Dad and she prayed fervently
to be healthy enough to care for him to the end.

In all of the loss and illnesses and cancers, my Mom was
praying for your loved ones and for you.  She was so
worried about Uncle Ted and his family, Brittney,
Jay, Aunt Nelda’s boys, Landen, and more. And then Mom would
remind herself that God is good and He would take care of you.
And she’d write a verse to remind herself of God’s promises.

The Lord your God is with you, He is
mighty to serve. He will take great delight in you with His love.
He will rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Sometimes it was just  little entries.

A.Rod is going to Texas.  A lot of money.

Made almond sticks for the Rylaarsdams, flopped big time. I could have cried.

Didn’t get a deer at hunting camp....didn’t even see a deer.

Eating too much candy!

And sometimes just a simple observation and verse.

Bulb garden is pretty.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace
as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by
the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:13.

She wrote about her kids and grandkids too.  I just pray for the grandkids,
May God keep them in the hollow
of His hand. It’s so important that they know the Lord.

And another entry

Each Grandchild is special in their own way.
Pray they walk with the Lord.

I will offer a thank offering to you and call on
the Name of the Lord. Psalm 116:17

Mom left a huge prayer warrior hole.

Our Mom had the gift of giving. She loved to make
Sunday dinner for us, every week. Our kids learned good manners
from her. No one took a bite of dessert until she sat down and lifted her fork.

The kids brought their friends and they were welcome. She baked every week including
a pie almost every week for our Dad.  In fact, sometimes she’d mention in her

journal, (and I’m not going to name any names here) so and so stopped by
and ate Rich’s pie today.
And there were a lot of you!

And while our Mom had a pretty structured and disciplined life she did love to
have fun and laugh with us. She loved it when everyone was at their
house or camping together.  She loved to play games with the grandkids.
Until last week she spent time with her bonus granddaughter Lexi, they played
many games over the years.
She enjoyed playing pinochle with friends.  While Dad was the fun parent
he was also the threat of discipline, and all Mom had to say was… Dad won’t like that.
She used that until the week he died.

However, when we needed to discipline our kids, her grandkids, she immediately
came to their defense and always said, it’s ok, he’s all right, or he didn’t
mean to do it, here honey come to Nana.

Mom loved to go to church, she loved Bible study fellowship, LC basketball
and the Seattle Mariners.  She
only clapped for the home runs when watching the Mariners on TV. She loved to read
but only in the evening as the days were for housework and yard work.

Mom loved her friends, her classmates and her cousins.  

Mom loved Jesus and her family and lived her life striving and
praying to trust in God.

We are going to miss our Mom and we are going to miss her prayers.

Lastly, Christmas was special with Mom, she baked everyone’s favorites,
cooked up a storm and had some serious ideas about traditions.  We opened gifts in order,
but first she played the piano and the grand kids had to
sing carols before they could open their gifts.

And now in honor of their Grandma the grand kids will come up
and sing a Christmas carol or six…

Okay then, maybe not.